December 2009
i go
to paris in exactly 10 hours. I seriously cannot wait! It’s going to be amazing, and i’m determined to clear my head out there! When I get back, I will be a changed girl, and i’ll learn to stop fucking up things that are good in my life! I just wish I wasn’t scared of happiness, everytime something goes right in my life, if something gets too close, or I feel like...
boxing day..
sales are so good (: I got up at like 10:20, and was in town for like half 11 :’) I went in topshop and got like 2 new jumpers, and a white hoodie - which i love (: then went in river island and got a top, and a new shirt! The funny thing about thiss was I had to strip in the shop lmfao, so i was stood there in a tiny white vest just trying this top on :’) Then when I got into...
my stomach is twisting, my eyes are weak my heart is jumping i can’t sleep, i don’t weep your just an emptiness inside. A cruel curse hoisted onto my body You change my personality You change how I look at people, and at life when you go away I don’t know how I’ll cope my poltergist inside my mind
.
high heels,make-up, fake eyelashes. Look at you, your so damn plastic!
So mud - lonely this christmas
is on the TV my mother : I told you, my mums friend commited suicide just before this came out :| thanks mum! You always know how to spread the cheer! fkgjkfjdldggkl. Paris please (L)
so in 2009
i’ve: fell in love, said i love you and REALLY meant it spent all day with somebody, and as soon as they’re gone i’ve missed them i’ve had my heart broke i’m still in love with that boy I had sex with that boy still WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT. REALLY? Nobody.
I swear, if i see another group about one of them i’m going to scream! Get the fuck over it,...
i should've known.
Nobody changes. So maybe all of our new years resolutions are just full of shit. We’re not going to change: Once a cheater, always a cheater Once a dick, always a dick If you drink, your not going to quit - there’s always going to be an excuse! ughh
andd youu - wtf, was I thinkingggggg! :/ S, your gorgeous, and sweet, but seriouslyy! PLAYED.COM
mmm
fuck-up 1,2,3
I actually feel bad now, I mean it was right to do, but seriously, now I do not know what I feel :/
“well my work here is done”
– what i’ve just said to myself! pat on the back for me :’)
it's suprising
that last year, just at this time. I was sat on the phone, ringing people, in a hysterical mess! I was so into a boy, that made my heart soar, and my chest tight whenever he signed in, but after a month of not talking, and him signing in this time, last year. I was a mess. I instantly burst out crying, i was a broken girl. This year, i’m still that broken girl, minus the hysterical crying....
....
“Bad girl drunk by six Kissing someone else’s lips Smoke too many cigarettes a day I’m not happy when I act this way”
it sums me up, and it’s going to change after 2010 (L)
“I was so in love with you, but now I just want to see you suffer”
– :’)
Last night was mad :)
I decided to go Caff with - at first this was the original people - Danny Edwards, Chloe Hawely, Dexter B-Hunt, Dani Brennan & Alara roebuck. Then, plans changed and we ended up getting Andrew Johnson, Daniel O’Brien,Irish Chris and a few others tagged along :) The train up there was just crazy, everone was so loud, but it was amusing to see chloe being taped by Danny Edwards when she...
my tumblarity
has gone up :)) lol, i’ve hardly done anything though!
ugh
i hate my stomach. :( kill me now please.
omgggg.
i seriously have fuckedd it uppppp. Atmm, i’m in so much fucking pain. My stomach is going on with itself - i feel like it’s fighting to kill me :(
I’ve put my foot in my mouth too much this week! I’ve fucked things up so much (: I really should just keep my mouth shut, ‘cos now I could’ve fucked up several things. Gun - head (: yes please!
he's now
just a thing of the past. Broken.depressed.hurt.fazed.ill.tears.cut.bruised.dazed.empty.hollow.unlovable.whore. marked.terrified.lockedup.frozen.lonely.despised.dispicable.replacable.uncontroled. scared.notwanted.notcaredfor.mistake.low.bleeding.pain.screams.marked.memories. haunted.burned. fucked up - in all areas. Some things in life, are meant to be like this. Other things, happen by choice.
i've decided
in my life I will need a job:
So, i’ve decided that im going into; Something to do with the music business- behind the scenes. Something to do with the move business. or just plain old teaching - I’ve not decided yet! :’)
my plan hasn't worked.
I had a very good plan to stick too until over new years and it’s not gone at all to plan: 1. I wasn’t supposed to see you until after new years - I did :( 2. You were supposed to stay deleted, but i’ve fucked that up, re-added you, but fortunately not unblocked you. 3. I miss you like hell, and just want us back to how we were :( 4. Everythings changing too quickly, maybe...
things have gone interesting :')
Yesterday, me and my mum went town to do some shopping. I ended up getting hardly anything ¬¬ Then me and Ria went off baby-sitting which was quite fun, ‘cos the parents are sick and just left us a 10bag and said smoke that and we’ll give you money when we get back :’)!
So, as they left me and Ria made a strong arse joint ;D! but then was a little too stoned to skin up again -...
What a perfect day..
Watching the nightmare before christmas with a hot drink, and a sasauge muffin. Then going to watch A Cristmas Carol, and send our michael to the shop for ice cream! Plus, whever I want a nice view, all I have to do is look out of my window to see the snow falling onto the tree outside :) I refuse to leave this living room all day, and just watch loads of films! (L) Also, I have my quilt down...
i'm going
very doubtfully, to try and get some sleep. another night, tossing and turning, broken sleep, and painful dreams in store for me :)
What a perfect nights sleep. Oh wait! I forgot the prt where I lay in bed for around an hour - two hours just thinking, so no bed until about 6 I think. Goodnight! x
“It’s 2am you’ve just woke up, and you’ve got a mad man running...”
– - I think i’m actually in love with Lee Evans :’)
I’ve just seen a quiz show on TV and Lee Evans just popped into my head, this man is a comedian God to me. I swear I love him :’)
the funniest thing is
in relationships, friendships, connections, and everything else.
nobody ever stays around enough to get to know the real me. All people ever see is a kind of fake side to me: They’ve seen my good moods: Happy, laughing, funny, joyful They’ve seen my bad moods: Arrogant, sarchastic, rude, obnoxious. They’ve seen my down sides : Downful moods, crying, pain. But to me these...
Dayme, i did a fair few things in 2009 ;]
Kissed someone. Smoked cigarettes. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time with out sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Taken a college level course. Been in a car accident....
i had to steal this of elisabeth :')
oliviamaria:Bold applies.
…
im a fuck up let’s face it :)
YOU SPELT MY NAME WRONG >_>
i had to steal this of elisabeth :’)
Bold applies.
I EDITED IT BABYYY ;)
Lets do the alphabet :)
A - Available: yes.
B - Best Friend: I used to be able to name quite a few, but now Ria murphy!
C - Crush: i don’t have one anymore.
D - Dad’s Name: David Johnson.
E - Easiest Person To Talk To: I have a few people!
F - Favorite Band: i could not possibly answer this
G - Gummy Bears Or Worms: bears :)
H - Hometown: manchster.
I - Instrument: piano
K - Kids: zero.
J - Job: - i hate...
i had to steal this of elisabeth :')
Bold applies.
I’m loud. I’m obnoxious. - i sometimes can be. I’m sarcastic. I’m cocky. I cry easily. I have a bad temper. For the most part, I don’t like people. I’m easy to get along with. I like to fight. I have more enemies than friends. I’ve smoked. I’ve smoked weed. I drink coffee. I clean my room daily. My Appearance I’m shorter than 5’5. I wear makeup. I wear a piece of jewlery at all...
In 2010
I am determined to go to as many places up and down the country as possible! I seriously want to go to beaches, and just spend the day on them chilling out. I want to go to the countryside, and just lie in meadows whilst taking my photographs or drawing. and, I don’t care how stupid this may sound - I’m doing it! Whether it’s with people, or by myself. It doesn’t bother me...
today was just harsh :(
First, it’s freezing cold walking down to work! Then as soon as I get in, we have a dunce for a ‘team leader’. He was so dumb, and didn’t know anything. Half way through we get more incompatable workers, that are trying to ‘help’ when they are clearly not! ¬¬ Then I get to town, and just for the fun of my life - and to annoy me - I slip straight on my arse :( ...
i am
seriously getting my hair done before Paris, at the moment it’s just look like burnt toast, with some ‘sunny’ bits :’)!
lmfao.
i've got a feeling
today is going to be so good! :) I’m meeting Christina at 3 o’clock, and go shopping for abit! then we’re going to go drink just to get a little bit excited aha, then go shopping more! and try on ridiculous clothing - God, i do everything to make people happy :’)!
Then were going to drink some more, then make our way to the M.E.N Arena to go and see Paramore, being...
Wtf is Taylor Swift doingg :|! This song is just...
5 things//stole from lauren :))(L)
Five things you will find if you open my bag/backpack: 1. Make-up
2. Perfume
3. Ciggarettes
4. My purse
5. Everything else including the kitchen sink! :)
Five things in my bedroom: 1. my bedd 2. Clothesss 3. Random things 4. My wall filled with posters & pictures. 5. more make-up
Five things I’ve always wanted to do in my life:
1.be an actress in world class films 2.be sucessful &...
i'm proud
of me :’) took me 5 days to finally do it, but i did it! :))
I can finally move on, get my head sorted and start 2010 the way it should be - FRESH start, the past in the past (L)
i'm sick of
hearing about songs that involve: Love, cars, trains, people, heartbreak, or whatever else ¬¬ it’s pissing me off, and yes I know I sound very pessimistic at the moment, but i’m sick of listening to them. it’s all songs are ever about. However, this is why I love metal - pointless,random, harsh music :)) and the ‘racket’ is clearly soothing for somebody who is sick of...